Category Archives: Prose

It’s funny how

The love of your life is just the love of your life until you don’t love them anymore.

Then suddenly they’re just a closed chapter in a book of the grand scheme of things. A phase, mistake even, then a memory.

Then one day, they’re nothing at all.

She saw it while it was still a mile away.

A mile, and a kiss, and maybe one ‘I love you’ too many. 

Yet, it seemed to come upon her so suddenly, without warning, without warrant. It hit her in the chest like a solid blow that left her breathless. Her knees buckled from the impact, but as soon as she hit the ground, she knew once she rose again she’d feel nothing but the dull sting that lingered from her fall. 

She didn’t know the man but the moment was all too familiar.

Body heat and sweat and passion that feels a lot like love. But she never mistakes some temporary rapture for the real thing.

Once, she felt it. Undeniable and all consuming, like a black hole she tripped and fell into. Sometimes, in the seconds between sleep and wakefulness, she thinks she’s still falling.

813: They fucked.

Because she wasn’t a cutter.

And yet with every caress a new scar appeared. Deep and ugly slashes, across her soul where they remained unseen.

But then once in a while, what was on the inside seeped out, and the whole world saw her bleeding.

There was no rehab for it.

Though there ought to have been. 

Everyday she withdrew, and at night especially, as she lay alone with nothing but memories of the last time. Even summers were cold, and the pain was almost physical, and if she could just have a little bit more just to hold her over…

Once in a while she relapsed but it always only left her wishing she hadn’t, and wanting to again, and searching in all the wrong places for the feeling she’d gotten that very first time.